alligators under my bed

Confession:
I still, from time to time, get that feeling that there might be alligators under my bed. I sometimes run from the bathroom to my bed in the middle of the night.



This whole alligator thing got me thinking about all of the things that influence us as children. I am finding myself more and more aware of what influences come in to my children's' lives. I don't let my children watch violence on TV and we don't use profanity in the house. These things I know will influence my kids at some time but it won't be because it came from our house. It's the more suttle things that get me worried. The kinds of things that parents don't realize are influencing their children until much later in life. Things like, how to communicate with a spouse or how to properly introduce yourself to someone and remember their name. Children watch their parents like hawks. I want my kids to see Mark and me argue and argue until we have come back to common ground, without yelling. I want my children to see how it can be okay to be sad and to let others help you. I want them to see that saying nothing can sometimes be better than saying just anything. I want them to have a desire for knowledge and to always have an adventurous spirit. I want them to be okay with showing their emotions but to know that there is a time and a place for those emotions. I want them to know how to cook and sew a button on. I want them to know how to fix things and know that you don't fix people.

Mark and I strive to be good parents to our children. We do not strive to be their friends. Yes, I want my children to like me and to want to be around me but being their friend will come later, once i've earned their respect as their mother. Friendship will come when they are making their own decisions, outside of my house. I want to be the best parent I can be so that they feel grounded enough to tackle anything that comes their way. I want them to be emotionally strong, not just physically. Life is full of hurdles that are easily overcome with a good sense of self and a solid family base.

I am working on influencing my children by working on myself. My alligators under the bed don't have to be theirs.