For the last few weeks i've let myself bathe in a pool of self pity. I haven't been finding the beauty in every day life like I want to. My family has been sick for so long now that I am just plain worn out. We are better - so much better than we have been. I feel emotionally drained and sleep deprived. Nolan still doesn't sleep through the night and ends up in bed with us every night. This too shall pass. I know. I felt this way about sleep when the twins were younger. The sick. Well, I just don't know about all of that. Hudson had his last tube removed a couple weeks ago but when we went in for his hearing test, he failed. Failed. He didn't hear anything out of his right ear. There was fluid on the ear so another antibiotic was prescribed. Apparently, the one he was taking at the time for bronchitis wasn't working. I cried that night. Failed. How long has he gone without the ability to hear? How was this not found earlier? I'm hopeful that the congestion was the reason he couldn't hear and that he'll be fine when we go back. I'm also thinking that i'm one big fat baby. My kids are healthy, for the most part. My little life is fine. Some bumps and bruises shouldn't get me so down. I found a website today that made me stop and think. I choose how I deal with the punches. I choose to get overwhelmed by everything that needs to get done. I choose when it's time to slow down and just BE with my kids. I have felt like the I was the only one holding everything together and I shouldn't put that kind of stress on myself. I am the only one holding a lot together but I don't have to let it overwhelm me.
I'm going to make some attitude adjustments and make better choices about how things roll in our lives. Life is too short.
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