a little perspective

Hudson and Garrett - 2 weeks old (34 weeks gestation)

Hudson and Garrett - 2 1/2 years old.

Nolan - 3 days old (36 weeks gestation)

Nolan - 3 months old

Life can get very overwhelming with three children, a job, trying to sell a house and everything else that creeps it's way in. In my haste to get everything done everyday I sometimes forget to stop and count our blessings, they are many. I only need to look at old photos of the twins and now Nolan. I can't carry babies to full term, thus our decision to stop having children. There were many days during my pregnancy with the twins that I prayed that my body wouldn't fail me and that the twins wouldn't come too early to survive. I was in the hospital four times before I actually delivered them. I spent 10 weeks on bed rest and every second that I suffered was worth it. They taught me that I am stronger than I ever imagined and that there are more important things in life and jobs and bills. With Nolan, I prayed for a blissful pregnancy and easy delivery. I got a bit of both. I was put on "restricted activity" at 24 weeks but could still go to work and do things with the boys. I couldn't care for their every need on a daily basis but I was home and I could tuck them in at night. The delivery was too early but it went quickly. Nolan came out breathing and there was a glimmer of hope that he wouldn't have to go to the NICU. No such luck. I was able to look back on our time in the NICU with the boys and appreciate how much farther along Nolan was and how much less time we would have to endure our stay. My children are healthy, happy, thriving little boys. My husband and I are so grateful that our family is what it is. We sometimes wish that certain aspects were different but I guess that's just life. I need to take a deep breath and enjoy these days when the boys are young and still think that we are pretty cool. The days that Nolan wakes me up in the middle of the night and gives me the largest smiles as I lift him out of his crib. I've been doing a lot of "the grass is greener" thinking lately and it isn't getting me anywhere. Our neighbor just lost his job and his wife doesn't work and they too just has a baby (girl #3). Things could be a lot worse for us, I know.